


But Men Can't Get Pregnant

by doctorwatsonofhogwarts



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Drunkenness, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 14:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorwatsonofhogwarts/pseuds/doctorwatsonofhogwarts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a night of drinking, Phil gets a bit more than tipsy and is convinced that he’s pregnant with Dan’s child. NOT mpreg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Men Can't Get Pregnant

**Author's Note:**

> The original prompt was that Phil get’s pregnant with Dan’s baby even though he’s a guy and to make it a happy ending. I don’t really like mpreg and I feel awkward writing it so I took some liberty with this prompt!

Dan couldn’t stop giggling as he watched a drunken Phil almost trip over the cans of beer that were scattered on their living room floor on his walk back from the bathroom. He fell onto the sofa next to Dan dramatically, laughing loudly. Both of the YouTubers were more than slightly drunk from Dan’s birthday party. Their guests have just gone home, which left the two of them to fend for themselves.

“Daaan” Phil slurred, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s waist. He was half-sitting, half-laid down, arms around Dan and his head nudging the brown haired boy’s side. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“What?” Dan asked, thinking that he heard that wrong.

“I think I’m pregnant.” Phil mumbled, nuzzling his face to Dan’s side. “And I think it’s yours.”

“But we never had sex.” Blurted out the birthday boy, ignoring the most obvious reason as to why Phil couldn’t be pregnant: he didn’t have the right anatomy. However, in his drunken state (not as drunk as Phil, who was an absolute lightweight), Dan ignored logic.

“We didn’t? Well, I think it’s all that eye sex we do on camera. Or I magically became pregnant when you poked me, like a unicorn or something.”

Dan giggled as Phil’s nose tickled his side. “How do you know that you’re pregnant anyway?” Again, lack of thinking when forming the question. Dan would surely kick himself next morning for his stupidity.

“I’ve been feeling sick and I’m having mood swings and I’ve been craving cheese.” Phil made a face, he hated cheese. “And I never had my period.”

“I never had my period either, does that make me pregnant too?” Dan wondered, taking a sip of wine.

“No silly, men can’t get pregnant.”

“But you’re a man and you’re pregnant?”

“I’m magical.”

“I’m sure you’re not actually pregnant.” Dan said, patting Phil’s head happily for no reason at all. “Even magical men can’t get pregnant.”

“But-” Whined Phil, but before he could continue, Dan stopped him. He managed to somehow pull Phil into his lap, so their faces were on the same level. The black haired boy was pouting and sending the other puppy dog eyes of the century. Dan rolled his eyes and kissed Phil’s forehead.

“You’re not pregnant.” He said. “Honestly, can you imagine yourself with a bloated stomach full of child that would eventually break out of you like an alien?”

“No.” Phil replied. Dan wrapped his arms around Phil and pecked his lips. “But I want to be. I want a kid, they’re cute.”

“Remember what we said about the puppy?”

“That it’s a lot of responsibility so I can’t have one?”

“Yes, same goes for a child. It’s an even bigger responsibility than a puppy.” Dan explained. Wow, where did all this sudden clear thinking come from? Go drunk Dan, you rock.

“Can we have one eventually though? You said that about the puppy.” Asked Phil with childish innocence. Dan almost melted, he was so adorable with his wide blue eyes.

“Eventually.” Dan confirmed, pulling Phil into a loving kiss.

“I’m going to poke holes in all your condoms so I’ll get pregnant.” Phil said half-way through the kiss.

At that, Dan laughed and pushed Phil on his back on the sofa.

The next morning the two woke up in a tangled mess of limbs on the sofa – naked and covered in more hickeys than they could count and somehow very aware of their conversation from the night before. Dan amused himself by leaving condoms everywhere all day, only to see Phil’s face go crimson as the previous night flooded his mind.


End file.
